I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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Alright. Enough of this foreplay.

Lets get it on. :hehe:

Post goose monster stats for whatever game you're currently playing / running/ or planning.

Do it! You know you wanna.
Oh, so many options. Back at'cha this evening ...
 
For Part-Time Gods:

Overly aggressive goose

They're loud, they're semi-aquatic, they randomly attack things larger than their weight class. They're geese -- the redneck of the bird world. Individuallly, not a real theat, flocks of these feathered bastards can prove to be truly deadly. They are also great for scouting, pecking at targets to distract them, or crapping on Bunch's lawn.

Health: 4, Stamina: 1
Skills: Swimming +8, Survival +4
Combat: Initiative +8, Movement 25, Close combat +5, Range combat +0, Defense +8,
Damage -1
Payoff: Wings (pg. 116)
Other Notes: Though birds deal little
damage, their attacks are enough of a distraction to cause a Feint (pg. 150) bonus for their owner or even Pain penalties if they successful scratch or peck at their opponent’s face.
 
For Part-Time Gods:

Foul Goose (Fear 16)

No one knows the origins of the Foul Geese. It's rumored that Geb had something to do with it, that during the God Wars, he had just about had enough of Zeus' shit, and created this race of outsiders from a tainted World Egg to vex the Greeks.

A Foul Goose is twice the size of a normal, large Canadian goose, three times as loud, and four times as stupidly aggressive. They're often mistaken as pucks, due to their uncompromising hatred of all life; even other outsiders can't stand the things. They like to migrate to the territories of weak or fledgling deities, settle in, and then proceed to wreck everything they can.

Health: 12, Stamina: 1, Spark: 1
Skills: Athletics +9, Fortitude +11, Survival +12
Combat: Initiative +12, Movement 8 (land) 12 (water) 30 (flying),
Close combat +10, Range combat +0, Defense +6, Damage +3 (L)
Powers:
  • Maddening honk: The calls of the foul goose are especially loud and carry the sound of pure madness. Hearing them forces all in the area to make an insanity check or lose their first turn of the combat.
  • Desecrating territory: Foul Geese habitually settle in the territory of a deity, then seek to wreck whatever they can. They can use Fate Shaping +5 to curse one single element of a deity's territory (a person, a single building or bridge, one acre of wilderness, etc), once per day. This type of curse can only be removed if the Foul Geese are evicted from the territory, or killed. Once all Foul Geese are gone, the curses are undone and things return to normal in a few days.
Payoff: Maddening honk or fate shaping +2 (curses only).
Other Notes: They're favored by gods and goddess of evil, corruption, chaos, mischief, and other such dominions, who are able to train them and keep them as guard geese or to annoy their rivals. They're magically delicious, and a single Foul Goose will keep a family of four full and satisfied for three days.
 
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lol. The one and only political site I frequent has a guy ranting about geese:

…@#$%ing Hate Birds, the Birds That Hate…
 
lol. The one and only political site I frequent has a guy ranting about geese:

…@#$%ing Hate Birds, the Birds That Hate…
Hating geese isn't political. It's common sense.
 
As an American I would like to argue with that, but....:errr:
Me too but unfortunately I have a mirror. The only saving grace is the rest of the world has it's fair share of issues. Except Canada. They're just overcompensating wannabe Europeans.:tongue:
 
images

Very debonaire.
 
Will ya'll shut the fuck up with the puns!

Damn, I'm really sorry. Sometimes I have a fowl mouth.

It ruffles feathers from time to time.

Anyway, my PTG campaign is kinda on the rocks; my players are wasting time with a wild goose chase. If they don't get their crap together soon, their goose is cooked.
 
Very debonaire.
Don't let the fancy clothes fool you. These two ganders are rumored to not only control the most powerful mercantile businesses in Arkham, but rumors most foul place both as heads of a cult worshipping an unnatural cosmic being. More than one investigator pushing his beak in where it doesn't belong has disappeared, something those in old Arkham call taking a down nap.
 
When I was a child, my grandmother sat me down and her lap, and kindly asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I looked up at her and smiled an innocent smile. "I want to become a force of pure malice that renders all of humanity's wondrous works to ruin and misery."

"That's so cute," she said cheerfully," you want become a goose."

Several decades later...

Evil-Goose.jpg
 
My Uncle Dave raised geese on his farm. When I was eight years old, they swarmed me and started beating me with their wings.

They broke my goddamned femur, and that's why my left leg is shorter than my right.
 
My Uncle Dave raised geese on his farm. When I was eight years old, they swarmed me and started beating me with their wings.

They broke my goddamned femur, and that's why my left leg is shorter than my right.

This thread has made me terrified of geese.

I can see it now...

*Noman goes to get an open carry licence...In California*

Sheriff: "There's no possible reason why you'd need an OCC. Get the hell out of my office."
Me: "I need it to protect myself from geese."
Sheriff: *Signs the appropriate paperwork* "It should arrive in a week, until then, take my gun, and Godspeed."
 
This thread has made me terrified of geese.

I can see it now...

*Noman goes to get an open carry licence...In California*

Sheriff: "There's no possible reason why you'd need an OCC. Get the hell out of my office."
Me: "I need it to protect myself from geese."
Sheriff: *Signs the appropriate paperwork* "It should arrive in a week, until then, take my gun, and Godspeed."
While my work here will never be done, I feel progress is being made.
 
W
As long as they are for eating and stuffing pillows, I have no issue with that. I'm only against "sport" killing.
Whatever it takes to keep their poopulation at a managable level.
 
The drink of nightmares:

oFl4ZgBFhSKtul-ya3qGkDMo-om_CQhIJM4_mJvRQtuRDA6zhe1J1eGYQI7RafeXQokyGXAg_4oKYkonGecTnJx5arG0PZO0aMwoczpuA8x6AdhZQtgvxEz3iiEHFg7gt-SLGERo-w=w857-h643-no

I'm in this Facebook group/community/whatever for whiskey lovers and people go crazy (in a good way) when they spot this one. Must be pretty awesome.

The drink of dreams...
View attachment 442

Great choice! I see your Marqués and raise you another one. :grin:

bwrICyKfStud-xGlnlmn8g_375x500.jpg

(Not in my collection, sadly. I have a ton of good to great wine to drink before I can go off getting extravagant new bottles.)
 
I'm in this Facebook group/community/whatever for whiskey lovers and people go crazy (in a good way) when they spot this one. Must be pretty awesome.



Great choice! I see your Marqués and raise you another one. :grin:

bwrICyKfStud-xGlnlmn8g_375x500.jpg

(Not in my collection, sadly. I have a ton of good to great wine to drink before I can go off getting extravagant new bottles.)

If it ain't at BevMo or the grocery store, it's not worth my time. :clown::goof::thumbsup:
 
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