I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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I have not yet eaten my body weight in geese, but I am pretty sure once I do, that game is over.

Sure, they can eat all three hundreds pounds of Hot Teutonic Sex, but I will still have won because there's no more of me to eat.
 
FaerieGodfather said:
I have not yet eaten my body weight in geese, but I am pretty sure once I do, that game is over.

Sure, they can eat all three hundreds pounds of Hot Teutonic Sex, but I will still have won because there's no more of me to eat.
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I guess it depends on the metric being used. You are going by raw poundage. You could also measure what parts of the body were consumed You probably have never eaten every ounce of flesh and organ on a goose in the way that a flock of geese will strip a victim down to bone, perhaps even eating the bones small enough to pass through their gullet.
 
Bunch said:
It's always fucking geese! Damn things are trying to nest in my yard again. Incessant shrieking all morning long as they compete for mates. I have ice cubes and a slingshot and pretty good aim these days.
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obviously, you should walk out without pants on and show them how they are really just no competition.
 
Bunch said:
It's always fucking geese! Damn things are trying to nest in my yard again. Incessant shrieking all morning long as they compete for mates. I have ice cubes and a slingshot and pretty good aim these days.
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You should come to my town and meet the seagulls here. I say seagulls, I really mean vicious spawn of evil that crap on clean cars, knock the food from your hands and then get into fights over the spoils. Even the geese won't go near them and geese fear no man. But the North Atlantic Herring Gull scares even them.
 
Stevethulhu said:
You should come to my town and meet the seagulls here. I say seagulls, I really mean vicious spawn of evil that crap on clean cars, knock the food from your hands and then get into fights over the spoils. Even the geese won't go near them and geese fear no man. But the North Atlantic Herring Gull scares even them.
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This is why you should still be able to discharge firearms in city limits.
My grandma used to have a pellet gun for shooting squirrels. She was a good marksman. She hit them so often they'd fall over as soon as they heard the report of the gun. Which lead to hilarity when she started firing sans pellets. The squirrels would fall over squawking until they realized they hadn't been hit.
 
The golfer is quite obviously a pussy. One he is golfing, so clearly there is beer involved. Don't give me that "hes only a high schooler" crap. Golf involves beer, its the dirty little secret of the industry all those high falutin folks in their fancy country clubs, don't want you to know about. Secondly you are literally armed with an honest to god club. A club! I personally refuse to kowtow to any god damn nature, when armed with a force multiplier. Long story short I will beat a goose to death with a nine iron. Don't believe me? Hold my beer and watch this!
 
Stevethulhu said:
You should come to my town and meet the seagulls here. I say seagulls, I really mean vicious spawn of evil that crap on clean cars, knock the food from your hands and then get into fights over the spoils. Even the geese won't go near them and geese fear no man. But the North Atlantic Herring Gull scares even them.
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The politically correct term for gulls is, "Dumpster Ducks".:wink:
 
Bunch said:
This is why you should still be able to discharge firearms in city limits.
My grandma used to have a pellet gun for shooting squirrels. She was a good marksman. She hit them so often they'd fall over as soon as they heard the report of the gun. Which lead to hilarity when she started firing sans pellets. The squirrels would fall over squawking until they realized they hadn't been hit.
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I've seen seagulls shot by modified air rifles, the kind that will kill a rabbit with a head shit, and shrug it off. And for some reason, these creatures that poop paint stripper, get into bins and spread garbage across entire streets in the srarch fir a morsel, are protected by law. It's actually illegal to kill them within 2 miles of the coast.
 
Stevethulhu said:
I've seen seagulls shot by modified air rifles, the kind that will kill a rabbit with a head shit, and shrug it off. And for some reason, these creatures that poop paint stripper, get into bins and spread garbage across entire streets in the srarch fir a morsel, are protected by law. It's actually illegal to kill them within 2 miles of the coast.
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You should recheck the law. For a long time Canadian geese were protected under the migratory species act. They changed it and now they can be killed under certain circumstances.
 
Bunch said:
You should recheck the law. For a long time Canadian geese were protected under the migratory species act. They changed it and now they can be killed under certain circumstances.
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Is one of the circumstances deliciousness?:smile:
 
Bunch said:
You should recheck the law. For a long time Canadian geese were protected under the migratory species act. They changed it and now they can be killed under certain circumstances.
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Sadly, seagulls are still a protected bird in the UK. Even though they act like they own the place.
 
Stevethulhu said:
Sadly, seagulls are still a protected bird in the UK. Even though they act like they own the place.
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Ah crap I just assumed you were talking about the US. Sorry about that.
 
Went for a walk with the missuz last night, and a couple of geese flew not ten feet over our heads, making all sorts of threatening noises. Cheeky bastards ...
 
Apparition said:
Wait... wait... You mean there's another country outside of the United States??? :crossed:

:tongue:
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Yeah went to a few of them. They spoke funny but seemed nice.
 
Apparition said:
Wait... wait... You mean there's another country outside of the United States??? :crossed:

:tongue:
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There was a SciFi series set a few years in the future, about cops on a space station, and one of the quotes went something like "The trouble with Americans is that you think 'International' means Americans abroad", always made me chuckle.
 
That's it! I'm going to make an army of evil geese people for my next Army Men campaign!
 
Doc Sammy said:
That's it! I'm going to make an army of evil geese people for my next Army Men campaign!
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Hey, it's not like there isn't precedent--Runequest has had ducks for longer than you've been alive, and apparently, they are Not To Be Trifled With.

(I remember some very painful nips from a barnyard goose thirty years ago, and I got hissed at by a Canadian goose last summer. They've got teeth!)
 
On my way home from work tonight, traffic came to a dead stop in the middle of a busy, major road in Philadelphia, just before you come across one of the city's fine correctional facilities. Turns out that there were about two dozen geese crossing the road, heading towards the vicinity of the prison.

How apropos.
 
Apparition said:
On my way home from work tonight, traffic came to a dead stop in the middle of a busy, major road in Philadelphia, just before you come across one of the city's fine correctional facilities. Turns out that there were about two dozen geese crossing the road, heading towards the vicinity of the prison.

How apropos.
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Hope they got the death penalty.
 
Stevethulhu said:
Sadly, seagulls are still a protected bird in the UK. Even though they act like they own the place.
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I tell ya, they have one hit and think they're the be-all, end-all.
A-10390-1293634465.jpeg.jpg
 
Stevethulhu said:
I've seen seagulls shot by modified air rifles, the kind that will kill a rabbit with a head shit, and shrug it off. And for some reason, these creatures that poop paint stripper, get into bins and spread garbage across entire streets in the srarch fir a morsel, are protected by law. It's actually illegal to kill them within 2 miles of the coast.
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Reminds me of when I lived in downtown Houston (well close enough). We had a terrible problem with pigeons. They would crap on everything. The city finally got wise and paid a healthy sum of money to place a nest and family of Hawks on one of the skyscrapers. I won’t say it solved the problem completely but it did alter it dramatically.
 
Ronnie Sanford said:
Reminds me of when I lived in downtown Houston (well close enough). We had a terrible problem with pigeons. They would crap on everything. The city finally got wise and paid a healthy sum of money to place a nest and family of Hawks on one of the skyscrapers. I won’t say it solved the problem completely but it did alter it dramatically.
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Sadly I have bald eagles flying by my house all the time but they do not attack the geese.
I'd like to train them to hunt the geese but that requires a specialized license.
 
Just something to be aware of...

The way the Swedish word for "geese" is pronounced almost identical to the English word "yes".

So, every time you agree to something by saying yes, you are actually trying to summon a flock.

flock-of-snow-geese-flying-725x537.jpg
 
Ronnie Sanford said:
Reminds me of when I lived in downtown Houston (well close enough). We had a terrible problem with pigeons. They would crap on everything. The city finally got wise and paid a healthy sum of money to place a nest and family of Hawks on one of the skyscrapers. I won’t say it solved the problem completely but it did alter it dramatically.
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My neighborhood was overrun with seagulls yesterday, but they didn't stay long. Birds of prey are pretty common in my area, so we don't need to import them. Here is a nest near my house.
z0tr5WfvaWjYyuJL7e3ArAgQu-Lq9IrD7mTM_CzNBm0zXqBfDuwKpPDS3DUAUDQmuqEx9el7zSUXJM7Fi5OqDl2MranXs6eELiw6LGBmeeGSFCiQbX6caOfsWrjPsgaciFN-w5bF4ZJM-hii4RtiYv4wHuwdH3zQrhi03X57eTQ5EsCmm6LX47WRwfYWzv01kbsdfA0KC8HomOs8xwwudU5iRxRpx-WTlTyZqHLRYZgtV_3Q0MSjA3FPajCnMm_TzaWIjfsYvO1l2XKZX9OXyUafyJFjxvrxSj_3zbD9S-sgteR0yG7jdvZE0AieBEB0my-EjwnmWaMew868B0rrNIwQAOdeTxN-gSwTHVLoxL1ACoBqm6r8IweGZkJJlFI4HPk9vgkXd8TgEGCRE_xoeeHAqOO39nQbMWyJ27RyV4u5UqJoSib0rqg8EZnGZGkHen9HOTmCfQ3awcmoHG8NtkEwB_Z-FtA5lxR0TPa3qDxZQWWtFITKNbOMAq4NALLTOhbfrrx4vD3kiMQuHhkAUhMVW_JaYml7BL1Zc-Ov0buxX4C8cQMnvRIQou9c8vP6Vjf2_jg6Z6vHBuyb8Vdx-dIljegmKqHntKd1v2uE=w1279-h959-no
 
Dumarest said:
Hee hee...we've been having an annual Mother Goose Parade near my home since the 1940s...I'm trying to finagle a Grand Marshalship for Bunch for the 72nd one coming up this November.
http://www.mothergooseparade.org/
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I don't own any guns these days but if you give me that target rich an area I'm gonna go postal on some geese!*

*Not really. I don't hate them that much. I have a strong dislike for them crapping on my lawn and dock. And their loud and just pricks.
 
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